BE•REN•MAN

Maxwell Street Depot

Chris — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 07:06:17 +0000

Have you ever been uneasy about approaching a dining establishment in fear of getting stabbed? Well you really haven’t lived until you’ve done it. From my experience these eateries have delivered the most enjoyable mixture of food and ambiance. Case and point: Maxwell Street Depot in sweet home, Chicago, IL. While there are dozens of Maxwells strewn across the city, the establishment that best balances danger and delight lies on the intersection of Canal and 32nd Streets–a few blocks west of US Cellular Park. Maxwell’s offerings are dishes best served with adrenaline coursing through your veins. As your heart rate descends from the exhilaration of a homeless man trying to rob you with a rusty shiv, make sure to order a double cheeseburger and a pork chop sandwich (be sure to load up on the onions). Complementary fries accompanies each your order and jalapenos are available upon request. What are you waiting for? Live a little.

Toki Underground

Chris — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 07:05:46 +0000

Well it’s been nearly 8 months since my last blog post. “What have you been up to?” might you ask. Well my friend, many of those days have been spent squatting at DC’s not-so-secret Toki Underground shoveling ramen noodles down my throat. Located in DC’s historical H Street corridor, Toki resides in an area where dudes donning salmon chinos and their J. Crew loving ladies avoid because they find tattoos and snapback caps a bit too treacherous. Toki Underground is nestled above The Pug and seats about 20, has an average wait of an hour, is dim, and loud but is absolutely ambrosial. Decorated with figurines, skateboards, and spray paint; it’s as if I’ve awoken from a wet dream only to find myself lying one of those supersized checks made out to me for $15 Million. Don’t believe me? Check it out for yourself. Toki’s menu is fairly simple but with a bevy of daily food and drink specials it’s never old. My recommendation: Miso Hakata with Pork Loin, a half-boiled egg, and extra noodles. It’ll cost you $12 and it’s worth every penny — your 0.05% APY savings account surely wont miss it — so don’t be a cheap-ass.

Re: What Happened to Rap?

Chris — Sat, 21 May 2011 17:11:17 +0000

Hallelujah! Got-DAMN! My prayers have been answered! I’m assuming Lil’ Jon and the East Side Boyz done read my post and hitched a ride on a Delorean back to 2000, with his Crunk Cup and my blog post in hand, to create this musical masterpiece. Loop it on repeat and please, please don’t forget to tip on fo-fos.

Taj Gibson

Chris — Tue, 17 May 2011 04:09:07 +0000

Taj Jami Gibson (born June 24, 1985) don’t give a F who your grandmomma is– he’ll put it in her face too.

The Zub ZenV is one of the few that are two-toned albeit not the most radical.

What Happened to Rap?

Chris — Tue, 10 May 2011 11:35:55 +0000

Those that know me understand that I have a penchant for getting angry at the most inappropriate times. I blame it on trying to be “chill”– and unbeknownst to me it’s why things tend to fester. Make sense to you? Good, me neither. A-N-Y-WAY, a few days ago I felt another outburst coming on and I thought I was well prepared. I calmly walked to my car, flipped to my iPod, and drove off (VROOM!). As I felt the rage begin to boil over I frenetically scrolled through my library with only the likes of Rebecca Black’s Friday, KiD CuDi’s Mr. Rager, and Skee-Lo’s I Wish turning up– inappropriate vehicles to channel my anger. Left perplexed, this predicament led me to ponder: what the hell happened to rap? I expected to release some of my frustrations by listening to some aggressive rap; something like Onyx’s Slam and I was left dissatisfied– I guess I’m also a jackass for not having my iPod prepared. While I’m far from displeased with current state of music, in my mind there is a void yet to be filled. All I ask for is for some pointless angry-ass rap music. Please, for my sake, make it sound something to the tune of of what’s below. Look at the song in all of its glory: angry at the beginning and happy at the end. A delectable mixture of frenzy and glee. Please, Jeebus, make it come true. If Rebecca Black can make Friday an international chart-topper then FUCK FUCK SHIT SHIT will undoubtedly be the song of the millennium.

F&#K, F@*K!
S!%T, S–T!
WIGGLE, WIGGLE!
DANCE, DANCE!
(Repeat 376x)

I expect royalties from the remixes.

Dunny & Travels

Chris — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 11:53:13 +0000

Looks like it’s time for my annual apology. Here goes… Apologies friends, fathers, mothers, lovers, cousins, children, or whomever it may be that reads my blog. I’m sorry that I haven’t been keeping up with the volume of posts but it appears one can get pretty busy doing, well.. nothing. I’ve made a half-hearted promise to keep with Berenman in the year of the Rabbit. Anyway, 2010 has gone but not without ushering in 2011. This new year I went to Taiwan to celebrate the approach of the upcoming year and to witness the 100 year celebration of the ROC (dissimilar to Jay-Z’s version). On new year’s night, Taiwan blew fireworks off the Taiwan 101- a pretty spectacular showing if you ask me. Anyway, some of you may or may not recall that I’ve been collecting Dunny’s commemorating my different travel destinations. Like the trips before it, this trip sent me on another adventure to seek out a Dunny to add to my collection. Pictured to the right, from left to right are Dunnys from: New York, Miami, Boston, Nashville, Taipei, and Taipei. “Why two?” you ask. Well I didn’t meet the credit card minimum when I tried to just buy one– Oops! The Santa Dunny is from the Christmas 2010 collection and the guy with DED on his belly is from the 2 Tone Collection. Thanks to Richard for directing me to Paradise Toy Land in the Da-an district (located down the street from YoFroyo). Tune in next time friends, as I may be introducing another Dunny family member.

Oh, I almost forgot… Happy New Year!

Chromeo – Business Casual

Chris — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 02:54:22 +0000

It I’m sick of the radio. How is Train still relevant? They’ve resurrected themselves 3 times in 3 different decades! By the time the Sun implodes, sucks all matter into it’s gravitational abyss, and pukes everything into a parallel dimension Hey Soul Sister, Meet Virginia, Tears of Jupiter, Stephen Hawking, and a slew of other Train singles that have yet to be produced will be all that remains. What if there’s a bizzaro version of Train in the bizzaroverse? They’re probably more famous than Mozart over there. And while I’m on the course, let’s extend the topic of personal distastes to my disdain of Ryan Seacrest. What in the holy EFF is Ryan Seacrest doing invading my car radio? I find myself road raging even at a sustained 90 mph because all I can imagine is his shit-eating grin filling the gaps and spaces between the laugh track and awful dialog. Successful? Yes. Funny? Hell no. Washington DC’s radio stations are killing me. Luckily I’ve got friends spread all over the place that either a.) aren’t subjected to this same aural abuse or b.) aren’t as dim as I to rely on radio for snazzy tunes. That’s how I found Montreal‘s finest: Chromeo. A while back Fancy Footwork, Chromeo’s 2nd album, was introduced to me by Detroit’s native son, Ben Gressgott. Since that magical winter, Chromeo released Business Casual their latest album that’s highlighted by #3 Night By Night, #4 Don’t Turn the Lights On, and #8 J’ai Claqué La Porte. If you’re nervous about the RIAA bashing down your door and punching out your adolescent sister for downloading illegally, you can sample their music at GrooveShark. You can thank me later. OK. Thank me now.

The Zub ZenV is one of the few that are two-toned albeit not the most radical.

Comme des Garçons PLAY Polo

Chris — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 07:42:58 +0000

It took me about 5 minutes to locate the fancy letter ‘c’ in Microsoft’s character map but I finally got it. This post, my friend, can now be completed. Comme des Garçons (CdG) is a Japanese brand that’s fronting like it’s French. PLAY is an offshoot of the CdG label that’s targeted towards streetwear enthusiasts and urban hipsters alike (although they’re synonymous, so I’m not sure why I make the delineation to distinguish between the two. Oh well… Onwards!). Armed with PLAY’s trademark bug-eyed heart logo, the PLAY polo is an update from the status quo. Made slimmer, with a wider angled collar, and some variation of the golden ratio in the sleeve length, what you have is a polo that’s well to fit a strapping lad like yourself. What you also get in return for this attention to detail is something that doesn’t appear to be hijacked from your fat, balding uncle Don’s closet, which is just as important as anything else. You can get your PLAY polo at the Dover Street Market, Commonwealth, or at the CdG boutique in New York. If you can’t get your hands on one, I’ll be willing to sell you the heart logo off my shirt for $75 and some POMx.

The Zub ZenV is one of the few that are two-toned albeit not the most radical.

POMx Lychee Green Tea

Chris — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 06:55:14 +0000

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a sucker for pricey bottled drinks. Grocers that sell this POMx Lychee Green Tea have my MO down pat. This 16oz bottle of juice is one of my favorites as it quenches my thirst and antioxidizes my ish. For those unfamiliar with pomegranate juice, it’s a bit tart and a bit dry- but hey, I never said it was a Kool-Aid. Besides, the Kool-Aid man’s got Diabetes, high blood pressure, hypertension, and Glaucoma. Lucky for him, POM’s around ease his fat boy’s ailments. I’m not guaranteeing any miracles, but drinking some lychee green tea can’t be the worst thing that you’ve done to yourself. Chug it or sip it. You’re a grown-ass man, you can decide for yourself.

The Zub ZenV is one of the few that are two-toned albeit not the most radical.

Creep by Hiroshi Awai 3/4 Button Up

Chris — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 08:22:10 +0000

Normally when something is referred to as a creepy your first instinct is to steer clear. Creep by Hiroshi Awai might not necessarily fall into that get-the-hell-away-from-me category as earlier mentioned. Behold, the 3/4 length baseball sleeve button up shirt. Classier than tees and short sleeve button-ups and slightly less formal than a casual dress shirt, ladies have had the privilege of being afforded these types of shirts for years; now Creep introduces them to the greater brociety. The shirt has a slender fit and is fully functional with two front pockets and buttons on the cuffs. And while you’re trying to make that out in the fantastic picture provided, note the other details: the rotated pockets and the buttoned collar. Clear to you now? Didn’t think so, but these are all things to be expected of a fantastically different yet versatile shirt. The length of the shirt is short and for good reason kind sir- how ridiculous would you look with this tucked in? You can find this Creep shirt amongst others at Commonwealth or through other stockists found via the Creep website.

The Zub ZenV is one of the few that are two-toned albeit not the most radical.